I won’t ask if any of you have ever felt this way but I’ll tell you something I’ve been feeling lately. Part of me feels like I exist elsewhere. Somewhere out there is another me that lives and breathes and enjoys doing so. Somewhere out there is ground that my feet are accustomed to. 

Somewhere out there is a smile and it belongs to that other me. Somewhere out there I feel welcomed. I can feel it; I can hear it. Its like a glorious ringing in my ears that stops me in my tracks and demands my attention. It’s so real that I can almost taste it at times. It’s what keeps me awake at night; it keeps me tossing and turning and running through my dreams. I want to find it;  I want to live it…that feeling of belonging.  It keeps me from settling and at the same time it keeps me glued to my seat in wait for it to make itself known. 

It troubles me and excites me at the same time.  I’m so curious…I can’t stand it.  I know curiosity killed the cat, but  I’m not a cat and  I’m certain that finding out about  this would not kill me.  I can’t shake it. I don’t want to. 

I want to seek it out–this other me.  I want to find her. I want to BE her. 

Maybe this makes no sense.  It doesn’t really matter, though; it’s how  I feel.