"Things have gotten better. They are getting better; they will continue to get better as time goes on." I wake up every morning and tell myself this, and every morning I wonder if I will ever truly believe this daily little sermon I so faithfully preach to myself. I’ve been saying it for so long, I should be believing it by now. I should be living in the NOW, not the THEN. Not the “what if” and “if only.” I want to be free of that. THEN was a prison; it has become a prison. THEN has become THIS has become NOW. Maybe tomorrow I’ll believe it. Maybe tomorrow. There’s always tomorrow.
I want to travel. I want a friend. I do not want a lover; I want someone to love, but I do not want to fall in love. I want a true friend to sit and tell things to. Maybe I want several someones. I want to make those someones happy and be happy doing it. I want to dance in the kitchen and laugh and sing again. I want to find that happy place I know exists within me and I want to share that with someone. Everyone.